The Reverend Shloemoe speaks!!!!!!

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:48 pm

Today children we learn about Christ's more divisive teachings....
the sacred texts tell us that Jesus says "He did not come to bring
families together, but to tear them apart"..Can anyone tell us
what was meant by this?....MMMMMM ..I dont know...maybe Assholitis could
answer this one since he has all that learning.....Ass?....Rot?...Jr?...
and others?(you guys dont post here as much..hence....others)

shloemoe used to be big bible fan....who'da thunk it?

I want humorous post!!!...or poignant ones...Im watching you Rot!!!!

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 5:44 pm

we'll isn't that speccccciallllll

Glenn · Post by **Glenn** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 5:50 pm

Looks like my mom.

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 5:52 pm

I think church lady wants to stick that finga in your ass.....

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 5:54 pm

...or maybe Dana Carvey wants to stick that finga in Shloes' ass?

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 6:03 pm

rotter wrote:...or maybe Dana Carvey wants to stick that finga in Shloes' ass?

...maybe rot? ...but I was serious!...have you guys accepted Jesus
as your personal saviour???....!!!!!...let us pray!

I like the "Historical" Jesus....he was down for the rebel cause....
...that is if he ever existed....not to mention rose from the dead!!!

Let the healing powers that flow from the shloe make your day
a bright and shiny one....I gotta go turn the chicken brb!

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:24 am

I wonder how many chicks Jesus banged?

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:35 am

rotter wrote:I wonder how many chicks Jesus banged?

I got a hunch that if he did any he didn't keep a score card...
That's a symptom of insecurity...the messiah cant be that way.

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:25 am

aaahahaha

I think Jesus had a mental disorder.

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:37 am

You know,Jesus was a cool fucker.He would have been a great performer with all that delusion in that pumpkin of his.The robe would have to go though...maybe a nice pair of black trousers and a cardigan with a "I Am a Cunt" t-shirt?Rock on and preach to the sheep,bitch!

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:34 am

rotter wrote:You know,Jesus was a cool fucker.He would have been a great performer with all that delusion in that pumpkin of his.The robe would have to go though...maybe a nice pair of black trousers and a cardigan with a "I Am a Cunt" t-shirt?Rock on and preach to the sheep,bitch!

I'd be scared to talk so much poop about a deity rot...
there might be a vishnu or a uhuru mazda or some
divine spirit who heard ya talking like that and put
warts on your wee-wee.

...ya know I think they have a union or sumthin....

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:39 am

"He did not come to bring families together"...well,there were together tribes before his existance and they didn't need any one man show dictating the "how-to" on the aspect of strength and real love but I suppose when people notice the corrupt and the decline of a community or world; someone has to step in and say the good of humanity as a whole and say their piece before everything is destroyed by men thinking they are higher than the universe.He noticed things and didn't like what he saw.
A threat he was,a leadership of "word".Condemed for it,tortured and hung out to dry by tyrants of submission and fascist design.He stood up and said...and died for it.Thats honourable.He didn't die for us,he just was murdered for being himself.
"to tear things apart"..he caused the "stir"of the history of written word..he died for his beliefs,and people believed in him.The message was,to me,think for yourself and be kind to each other and forgive your enemies and invite them to dinner and have lots of laughs.I'd say the Jesus if he was my neighbour"bring wine,bitch"!Lets party!Now that is a bag o' fish!

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:42 am

The Rizen shloemoe wrote:
rotter wrote:You know,Jesus was a cool fucker.He would have been a great performer with all that delusion in that pumpkin of his.The robe would have to go though...maybe a nice pair of black trousers and a cardigan with a "I Am a Cunt" t-shirt?Rock on and preach to the sheep,bitch!
I'd be scared to talk so much poop about a deity rot...
there might be a vishnu or a uhuru mazda or some
divine spirit who heard ya talking like that and put
warts on your wee-wee.

...ya know I think they have a union or sumthin....

I say whatever i want...warts and all.My pee-pee is safely tucked in Maddies' hands

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:52 am

I like Jesus Christ...but would he like me?Probably;I don't put all my faith in any one man,but in love...family,friends,good and truth.I suppose something come good from being "forced" to go to sunday school.
I have my own beliefs now..as does my tribe.I let them make up their own minds;for themselves.Choose your own path...Now,I'm constructing an ark..anyone need a lift after this planet is destroyed?Aaahahahaha.....I'm gonna call her"The Ship O' Fools";with no captain!All hands on my deck Maddie;on the pleasure zone please!

Maddie · Post by **Maddie** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:01 am

arggggg...can we be pirates?I'll kiss you in the coo-coos nest if I can use your telescope!

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:04 am

Mmmmmmmm.....M'ok

Wear the short skirt and pistols shirt and flash the jesus ark some tittums when we pass em'!

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:15 am

John 3:3 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again,
he cannot see the kingdom of God.

Whenever he said verily verily...that was a main point to him

Unless a person is willing to drop all other alligiances and follow
...he is not worthy of the kingdom...that's the kinda stuff that tears
families apart...come I will make you fishers of men...and all that.

It would be great to be able to believe all that stuff...be able to
walk into a lions den and all....a lot of that stuff(the bible)sounds
like it was just written by men...not inspired by a god...so shloemoe
remains skeptical.

lot a good stuff in the good book...but I think I wish I had
some of that time studying it back...na I guess it's cool

but when I hear people claim to be christians I laugh(or get angry)
The cross is heavy...and there is only ONE path for each of us

The last True Christian died on the cross...well there's this guy too

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:27 am

The bible is a story written for people by people that just don't understand our existance and wrote their opinionated answers about "what are we and why"...no different then me looking for answers in the sky that gives me a connection to a universe...or seeking answers from an experience related to a botched suicide when I was eighteen.There is something after life,it didn't make any sense to my mind.Brain death or was it real?Don't know..all I know is doctors played God and won..I'm thankful.To me;the bible is not the answer to our existance,just a lovely handbook of experience and opinion from men looking for truth.

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:31 am

rotter wrote:The bible is a story written for people by people that just don't understand our existance and wrote their opininated answers about "what are we and why"...no different then me looking for answers in the sky that gives me a connection to a universe...or seeking answers from an experience related to a botched suicide when I was eighteen.There is something after life,it didn't make any sense to my mind.Brain death or was it real?Don't know..all I know is doctors played God and won..I'm thankful.

Sounds like a story there rot...it's ok...you dont have to share
if you dont want to

Peace be yours brother rot...

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:34 am

I can't share it..its personal.

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:39 am

Can I get an amen brothers and sist'tas!!!

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:43 am

does anyone have some mouthwash?my teeth feel scummy..and my lips itch

only thing I'll say,enjoy life,its fucking precious!

Now drink your wine and hope you wiped that fuckin ass of yours,punk!Cuz I'm gonna drive you home after church..hehehehe

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:52 am

..I'm teasing you..nothing wrong with that

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:58 am

rotter wrote:..I'm teasing you..nothing wrong with that

Oh just shut up and hold me rot man....

Shloe gotta go....shopping and erands...

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 8:02 am

hugs to you my brother...have a good errand run.Don't forget to show the women at the grocer the big zuccini!

...and smile

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 11:00 am

rotter wrote:hugs to you my brother...have a good errand run.Don't forget to show the women at the grocer the big zuccini! ...and smile

again they put ya in chains for that here rot...i think they call it
indecent exposure...boy Canada must be nice!

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:03 pm

It is nice....except when its 35 below C

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:21 pm

rotter wrote:It is nice....except when its 35 below C

I dont think I've ever experienced 22 above...maybe
I like it cold...but I dont know about that cold.that's
life threatening

Maddie · Post by **Maddie** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:50 pm

Ever had your snot frozen to your fuckin face?

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:04 pm

ouch ...nose hairs n stuff...no way...shloemoe build fire
keep warm....fire good!!!!

Maddie · Post by **Maddie** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:07 pm

I have a fire to keep your nose warm

Fur mitty.....meeeoww

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:42 pm

Maddie wrote:I have a fire to keep your nose warm Fur mitty.....meeeoww

Oh you hot blooded Canadians...so flirty...sides...I know it's
you rot using maddie's account....FREAK!

Glenn · Post by **Glenn** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:49 pm

ha ha

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:00 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha

chriswasanon · Post by **chriswasanon** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 6:18 am

The Rizen shloemoe wrote:
rotter wrote:...or maybe Dana Carvey wants to stick that finga in Shloes' ass?
...maybe rot? ...but I was serious!...have you guys accepted Jesus
as your personal saviour???....!!!!!...let us pray!

I like the "Historical" Jesus....he was down for the rebel cause....
...that is if he ever existed....not to mention rose from the dead!!!

Let the healing powers that flow from the shloe make your day
a bright and shiny one....I gotta go turn the chicken brb!

I always fancied being Jewish myself Shloemoe.

The Rizen shloemoe · Post by **The Rizen shloemoe** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:03 pm

chriswasanon wrote:
The Rizen shloemoe wrote:
rotter wrote:...or maybe Dana Carvey wants to stick that finga in Shloes' ass?
...maybe rot? ...but I was serious!...have you guys accepted Jesus
as your personal saviour???....!!!!!...let us pray!

I like the "Historical" Jesus....he was down for the rebel cause....
...that is if he ever existed....not to mention rose from the dead!!!

Let the healing powers that flow from the shloe make your day
a bright and shiny one....I gotta go turn the chicken brb!
I always fancied being Jewish myself Shloemoe.

I think I'm finally done with all organized religion
(shloemoe looks nervously at the sky)

rotter · Post by **rotter** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 6:19 pm

You should be nervous...