Elvis Teddy in guard dog stuffed toy carnage.

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chriswasanon
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Elvis Teddy in guard dog stuffed toy carnage.

Post by chriswasanon »

More news from the Guardian and a made-up rag headline.

"When Barney met Mabel, there was an instant - and fatal - chemical reaction.

On Tuesday night the doberman pinscher guard dog, after six years' blameless service, went berserk: within minutes Mabel, a 1909 German-made Steiff teddy bear once owned by Elvis Presley, more recently the pride and joy of an English aristocrat, lay mortally wounded.

Barney went on to rampage through hundreds of rare teddies, all on loan to Wookey Hole Caves in Somerset, and so valuable that the insurers had insisted on a guard dog to protect the premises at night. The aftermath, according to shocked staff, was appalling: shattered limbs, gouged eyes, ears torn off, and pools of sawdust everywhere.

"Up to 100 bears were involved in the massacre," Daniel Medley, general manager of Wookey Hole Caves, said last night. "It was a dreadful scene."

Barney's mortified handler, Greg West, who took 10 minutes to get the dog back under control, said: "I still can't believe what happened. Either there was a rogue scent of some kind on Mabel which switched on Barney's deepest instincts, or it could have been jealousy: I was just stroking Mabel and saying what a nice little bear she was."

Mabel usually lives at Maunsel House, the 13th-century manor house home of Sir Benjamin Slade. Sir Benjamin, who inherited the estate in 1982, recently announced he was conducting a worldwide DNA search to find the closest heir to the estate: so far he has received more than 15,000 claims, including one from a man currently residing in a New Delhi prison. He collects Elvis Presley memorabilia, and bought the bear at a Memphis auction, reportedly for £40,000.

Mr Medley had the unenviable job of phoning him to explain, as well as he could: "It was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. I had a very brief conversation with him, and it's fair to say he was not best pleased. He sent around one of his men this morning to collect the body."

He is anticipating another awkward conversation: dozens of the damaged bears belonged to another private collector, now out of the country on holiday. "I hope she doesn't read about in the papers, or she'll be straight back on the next plane."

Staff were still working last night to restore the display, which is expected to reopen this morning.

The hound dog will not be present.

"We have asked the security firm not to send us that dog again," Mr Medley said. "I really don't want to see anything bigger than a Jack Russell."

End of this Guardian news report.
"It is I, the gorrilla of 3b. Nigel Molesworth".
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