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This cracked me up today!

Post by *Annie* »

December 12, 2005
Sex, Drugs, And ... Name The Rock & Roll Band!

Which New York rock darlings are becoming notorious for their drug consumption? The band regularly utilizes the house drug dealer at a downtown hipster den, where one of the members often indulges his habit of seducing underage babes.
Any guesses?

This would be a good time to tell you about my (not underage) friend's recent date with drug-addled Anton from BJM (it started on a couch on Elizabeth Street and ended with her running out of his apartment). She won't let me blog it! I'll go beg her. It's the best story ever.

Posted by scott at December 12, 2005 11:25 AM | TrackBack



Posted by: Holla at December 12, 2005 11:36 AM

El Strokes?

Posted by: ceenee at December 12, 2005 11:48 AM

All of them?

Posted by: Jonah at December 12, 2005 12:05 PM

They Might Be Giants? The ghosts of the Ramones? The last living fifth Beatle Pete Best? The Hymens?

Posted by: Louis at December 12, 2005 12:06 PM

haha. i really wanna hear this anton newcombe story.

and the first band that came to my mind was the strokes, but i don't know, surely it's not that obvious.

Posted by: kylie at December 12, 2005 12:07 PM

New York rock darlings = New York Dolls
drug consumption = Chrystal Meth
house drug dealer = Dude who sits in the corner
downtown hipster den = Mars Bar
where one of the members = David Johansen
often indulges = Thursdays thru Saturdays
seducing underage babes = NYU kids

That should clear it up, then.

Posted by: anjo at December 12, 2005 12:40 PM

Downtown Hispter Den = Max's Kansas City

You figue out the rest.

Posted by: JoJoba at December 12, 2005 12:44 PM

that would explain why Johansen looks like warmed-over death. anyone seen New York Doll yet?

Posted by: jim at December 12, 2005 12:46 PM

Well, if it were 1992 I'd say soundgarden because of the whole kim thayl buisiness but nope, so i'll guess les strokes.

Posted by: andie at December 12, 2005 12:52 PM

Interpol .... what do I win?

Posted by: jeremiah duMont at December 12, 2005 12:59 PM

Clap Your Hands (Say Crack)?

Posted by: Joey Headset at December 12, 2005 01:02 PM

clap your hands say vagina

Posted by: G3K at December 12, 2005 01:17 PM

Um. . . so I guess Sonic Youth would be a bad guess. . .

Posted by: Darwin at December 12, 2005 01:19 PM

def the strokes

Posted by: EasyP at December 12, 2005 01:35 PM

its obvioulsly Interpol, carlos d is notorious for banging young girls.

Posted by: bah at December 12, 2005 01:35 PM

If you've heard First Impressions of Earth you already know its the Strokes who have been doing copious amounts of album killing drugs.

Posted by: Josh at December 12, 2005 01:47 PM

my guess is interpol, though them and the strokes seem to be not quite so "au courant" these days...

what kim thayil business? please do fill me in... 13 years later. oh, and i thought soundgarden were always based in seattle.

Posted by: s at December 12, 2005 01:47 PM

Phillip Glass?

Posted by: jed2 at December 12, 2005 02:07 PM

it's interpol for sure. i heard they were over weight/goth underage girls though.

Posted by: Austin at December 12, 2005 02:15 PM

CYHSY aren't a New York band, they just practice there.

I dunno. Interpol or the Strokes. I don't have an original answer, but Paul Banks seems like the type to indulge in pain killers / opiates.

Posted by: fido at December 12, 2005 02:23 PM

Yeah, I wanna hear the Soundgarden story too. BTW, does it amaze anyone what a collosal pile of shit Audioslave is? It's like if Jeff Buckley and Angelina Jolie had mated and given birth to Gilbert Gottfried.

Posted by: Ferris at December 12, 2005 02:27 PM

Um...why would any girl willingly go to Anton's apartment at all? Is the question. The guy can't even keep a linear conversation going he's such a mess. I met him through a friend at a bar once and actually thought he was either mildly retarded or schizophrenic. He reminded me of the homeless guy Woodrow that Tracy Morgan played in that SNL skit with Britney Spears a few years ago.

Posted by: ck at December 12, 2005 02:27 PM

Oh yeah, and I agree that the leaked stuff from the new Strokes is pretty crappy, but who knows? I thought Late Registration was going to be a huge disappointment and I was way wrong. I'm more worried about the next Flaming Lips album. Not a huge fan of their latest singles. Oddly enough, though,I'd be kinda relieved if the new Radiohead were a disappointment. I'm still waiting for them to put out a bad album. Even if I don't like their stuff at first it eventually grows on me. For example, Kid A is now my favorite of theirs. Go figure.

None of this has to do with the post, I was just rambling.

Posted by: fido at December 12, 2005 02:29 PM

what about decemberists signing to capitol?

did colin meloy actually call capitol records "winsome?"

sorry, couldn't help it--

Posted by: tangerine at December 12, 2005 02:34 PM

The Bravery? Wasn't their guitarist or someone known for being a drunken man-whore?

Posted by: k at December 12, 2005 02:55 PM

ladybug transistor

Posted by: bobby at December 12, 2005 03:24 PM

Mars Bar makes sense, they have that crazy dude who sells the pot leafed and shellac'd sea shells.

Posted by: bunnykilla at December 12, 2005 03:32 PM

Daniel Kessler isn't as untouchable as he'd have everyone believe. Just sayin'.

Posted by: in the know at December 12, 2005 03:32 PM

the strokes are definitely drug-addled. I'm going to go left-field and say this post refers to the Kings of Leon.

Posted by: d at December 12, 2005 03:57 PM

They're all fairly interchangable, aren't they?

Posted by: jed2 at December 12, 2005 04:11 PM

my initial thought was kings of leon, but they're definitely not a new york band.

Posted by: adsf at December 12, 2005 08:46 PM

I'm gonna REALLY go out on an a limb and go with gorilla biscuits. They reunited a few months ago so they still count.

Posted by: Mark at December 12, 2005 09:36 PM

Interpol...luv the band to death, but they are gaining notoriety.

Posted by: alexis at December 12, 2005 09:49 PM

le strokes

please post the anton story

Posted by: Satisfied '75 at December 12, 2005 10:06 PM

phillip glass... that was good...

Posted by: schlarb at December 12, 2005 10:54 PM

Well it says "their" so I don't think it's The Strokes since only Valensi seems like the one who's doing drugs, I think it's Interpol cause of Carlos D banging young girls.

Posted by: Antonio at December 13, 2005 12:28 AM

i love how everybody nods the strokes. who was visiting home to perform? besides this antedote fitting every other nyc downtown band. sheeeet...

Posted by: the beat poet at December 13, 2005 12:53 AM

KOL? Nah, theyre such devoted church fans. That would count too many sins for them.

And Id swear it was STROKES until "seducing underage babes", that's def some Bravery's thing, theyre such losers.

Posted by: Fe at December 13, 2005 07:52 AM

Nevermind about the Bravery. They're not under ROCK-DARLINGS profile way for sure.

I now go for FRANZ.

Posted by: Fe at December 13, 2005 07:58 AM

well after reading radar I'll have to go with interpol-
Apparently, the affable salesman doesn’t limit his company to presidential offspring. “He brags on camera that he’s down with all the members of Interpol,” our source says. “And everybody in the club that walks by in the video says ‘hi’ to him.”

Posted by: karen at December 13, 2005 11:31 AM

more stories about slutty nyc rock bands are needed.

someone should start a blog "slutty new york rock n' roll couches"

Posted by: bushwick is beautiful at December 13, 2005 12:15 PM

I'm gonna start taking bets on how many times Paul Banks is in and out of rehab before the next Interpol album gets finished. I say at least twice.

And yeah, JennyPenny should probably have herself checked for diseases other than herpes.

Posted by: we have 200 slutty couches at December 13, 2005 12:25 PM

it's interpol for sure.

Posted by: corrupt at December 13, 2005 01:14 PM

Based on stories I've been told from someone who used to hang out with Kings of Leon, I'd believe it were them. However, not an NYC band.

All signs point to Interpol. I love their music and all, but they've come off as though their buying into the whole sex, drugs and rock-&-roll thing way too much.

Posted by: Nocturne at December 13, 2005 02:02 PM

Easy The band is Pavement.The drug? Um Zoloft.
Mark Ibold is the teeny bop seductor. and the bar?
The Blaney Stone. Booya!

Posted by: McGraw at December 13, 2005 02:55 PM

Blarney Stone, the one by MSG.

Posted by: McGraw at December 13, 2005 02:56 PM

that kings of leon church backstory is garbage.

also, paul banks likes obese way he'd have to resort to pedophelia too.

Posted by: d at December 13, 2005 04:59 PM

^^^ Nah, you have Cap'n Banksy confused with Carlos D. He's the chubby chaser. Trust me on this one, folks.

Posted by: Sam at December 13, 2005 05:16 PM

so when do we get the answer!? now i'm dying to know.

Posted by: jo. at December 13, 2005 07:12 PM

Yup, Interpol. Carlos, at least, is for sure a fan of underage chubby goths.
Gotta go with Interpol. Or Yo La Tengo.

Posted by: Sarah T. at December 13, 2005 08:00 PM

the lead singer from kings of leon slept with a girl that's in the new film, 'mrs. henderson presents', when she was only 17! shock!! and also KNOWLEDGE!! the girlie is pretty hot btw... she's 19 now, too.

Posted by: h at December 13, 2005 08:01 PM

antons not drug-addled, or retarted. maybe schizo, DEFINATELY ALWAYS really really wasted. the man had been known to finish off two bottles of stoli before noon. bless him.

Posted by: jah at December 13, 2005 08:41 PM


Posted by: papercut at December 13, 2005 10:30 PM

"I'm gonna start taking bets on how many times Paul Banks is in and out of rehab before the next Interpol album gets finished. I say at least twice."

My money's on a dead Paul Banks before their 3rd full-length release. And there will be the episode of Behind the Music. And eyes will roll.

Okay, that was rotten of me but if you play with fire, don't think you'll never get burned.

Posted by: Nia at December 13, 2005 11:06 PM

hm. drug-addled nyc band members. young girls. i'm thinking. oh wait, OBVIOUSLY it's interpol. or possibly any other band in the city with a modicum of success and the star-power to bang any hot, blonde, busty girls they want.

let's have a new contest. this one is called "who can name any NYC band that doesn't have a class-a drug habit, as well as a cute young girl habit?"

Posted by: smile at December 14, 2005 03:13 AM

Clap your hands?

Posted by: Holla at December 14, 2005 08:03 AM

"My money's on a dead Paul Banks before their 3rd full-length release."

Wow, Nia. Don't go posting stuff like this over at the Interpol messageboard, or you might incite an indie-sized riot.

Who am I kidding? An post saying that would be deleted so fast, no one but the mods would ever read it.

Anyhow, I'm sure Kessler's glad he's not "managing" the band on his own anymore. You gotta feel sorry for Brandon Schmidt. He's got his hands full with just Banks alone.

Posted by: interpolygamist at December 14, 2005 09:06 AM

Spin Doctors. Chris Barron used to hang out at the Art Bar. One time I took my girlfriend there for a drink. My girlfriend was young and fat but I didn't care because I figured if my girlfriend was young and fat that no one would want to sleep with her. I was wrong. Chris Barron wanted to sleep with her. He walked up to her and held out his one-hitter. He said take a hit and then I want you to come into the bathroom with me and I want you to blow me. I said hey buddy who do you think you are and that's when Chris Barron slapped me across the face. My girlfriend laughed. She took a hit. Then she went into the bathroom with Chris Barron and gave him a blow job. In the cab, on the way back to my dormroom, I asked her why she blew the lead singer of the Spin Doctors. I said I would've understood had it been Adam Durwitz, but why the Spin Doctor guy, he's not even really a rock star, I used to see the Spin Doctors play at NYU frat parties, I used to watch them drink lite beer at Billy's, why would you do that when I'm standing right there, and why wouldn't you protect me when another man slaps me across the face. My girlfriend said I didn't give him a blow job and I said do you swear and she said I swear and that's when I started to cry. The next day she went back to Tuscaloosa and I made an appointment with a dermatologist to have the hair on my back removed with a laser. It cost me over two thousand dollars. I put it on my credit card. My dad paid the bill. The hair never really went away. My girlfriend left me for an agent. It was Chris Barron. It was The Spin Doctors. Or maybe The Bogmen. I like The Bogmen. I don't care what anyone says.

Posted by: Ingersoll Rand at December 14, 2005 12:15 PM

Fe, Franz Ferdinand? New York, Scotland?

Posted by: fido at December 14, 2005 01:21 PM

Ingersoll Rand either deserved to get cuckoled or this is some inside joke i dont get

my vote for the story is the Bravery

Posted by: Clashed at December 14, 2005 02:49 PM

!!! DIAMOND NIGHTS !!! ???

Posted by: blahblah at December 14, 2005 05:05 PM

or maybe Diamond Nights just want you to think that...

Posted by: blahblah at December 14, 2005 05:06 PM

Carlos D banging Jenna Bush at Happy Endings? yes?

ps : don't say those things about Paul or I'll cut you...

Posted by: eeeeee at December 14, 2005 05:15 PM

I wish I was an underage NY babe. (Or at least an underage chubby goth)

Posted by: JaneDoe at December 15, 2005 12:31 PM
"Bitches, don't you know I'm being sarcastic?!"
-Julian Casablancas
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